Brad's Stage Fright

The line for auditions stretched down the block. Brad had been standing, holding his violin case to his chest for hours. Staring at the long string of people in front of him, he remembered how much had changed since he met Sam in a similar line a couple of years ago. It was pure luck or fate that put him next to Sam. It has made all the difference personally and professionally. He remembered their first encounter so clearly.

Sam spoke up first, “Hi, I’m Sam!”  Brad tried to ignore him. Brad’s anxiety over the audition was too high to leave much room for a conversation with a stranger. But then, his audition anxiety was always high. Sam could see Brad’s turmoil and said, “Boy, I hate auditions.”  Sam nodded in agreement. Brad responded, “Yea, I would much rather be sitting in the park and listening to the birds!”  Sam was a bit surprised. Their apartment was so small that Brad loved the wide-open space. Brad looked at Sam and said, “Yea, me too.”  Their relationship began with that simple conversation. It soon blossomed into a deep and loving partnership. He had met the love of his life.

 

Brad fell in love with more than just Sam. Sam’s Mom and Dad were amazing. They supported him, no matter what. His brother and sister were always there for him. Uncles and aunts and cousins got together every holiday. Sam had a great family, and he loved being part of it. 

 

On the other hand, Brad barely had much of a relationship with his family. His brother was too busy living his life thousands of miles away. He always felt like a disappointment to his Mom and Dad. Sam and the in-laws made a whole new family for Brad.

 

As the line inched forward, Brad remembered how his anxiety and panic would increase with each little bit of movement in the queue. When he got to the front, he would be frozen with fear and anxiety. He was a maestro in the practice room but always fell apart in the audition or on the stage by himself. Sam had helped him change all of that. It started with a question Sam asked him after he had failed at an audition with a piece he had nailed in the apartment.

 

“What happened?” Sam asked when Brad returned with the bad news. “I don’t know. My fingers would not move. It was like they did not know where they were on the strings. I could hear my Mom, who kept telling me to relax or I would blow the audition. And, as always, she was right!”  He continued, “She is not like your Mom; she always talked about how much potential I had and how it would be a shame to waste it. Just relax! RELAX!”

 

Sam stared at him for a minute. And then he asked, “Was your Mom sitting with the manager and director in your audition?”  Brad shook his head a bit and said, “That’s silly. Of course not.”  And then he paused, and Brad’s gaze turned inward. “I suppose she was, in a way.”  Sam said, “Then quit taking her with you. And when you come out, you don’t have to tell her about it, either.” 

 

Once again, the line crept forward, and Brad imagined how this audition would turn out. He had not “taken” his Mom with him for the last dozen or so auditions. Brad also learned to only tell her about the auditions where he got the gig. But he told Sam about all of them. And in doing so, he learned a lot about himself and what it meant to be part of a supportive, healthy family.  

 

When he reached the audition room door, he took a deep breath, remembered Sam’s words of encouragement, and smiled. He would do his best and hoped he would get the job. But he also knew it would not be the end of the world if he didn’t. There would be other auditions.

 

The supportive family allowed him to practice his patience. They knew how talented he was. He just needed to see it for himself. His growing patience with himself gave him the time to let his talent shine through in his auditions. As he relaxed, his performance improved, and he started getting gigs. With each successful audition, Brad felt hope growing in his heart. It all began with a supportive, loving family.