Asking the Right Question!

A very weary Jaime said to the woman in front of him, “Can you believe this line? We have been standing in line for hours, and it has hardly moved!”  The woman, Rose, replied, “I didn’t think this band was that popular.”

 

They both watched as the line crept forward. When they started hearing people cursing and complaining in front of them, they noticed that a “Sold Out” sign was posted on the ticket booth window. Jaime was about to join the profane chorus when Rose turned and said, “I really wanted to hear them, but I guess I have my evening free. How about a cup of coffee?”  Jaime was caught off guard by the question and set aside his tirade to nod, “Ok!”

 

After getting their coffee, they sat at a corner table, and Jaime could not hold it in any longer.  “*&% #%@%, *&^ 87 @ $%#^!”  Rose looked at him with gentle eyes while he got it out of his system. When he ran out of anything to say, he slumped back and mumbled, “Why should I expect anything else. These days, all my luck is bad.”  Rose understood his frustration and a great deal more than he suspected.

 

Rose responded, “I am disappointed too, but if I had not gotten in that line this morning, I would have never met you!”  Jaime replied mockingly, “Yea, I suppose. Like it is some big convergence of the universe.” Rose answered, “No, really! You are an interesting guy, and I would like to get to know you. I would not have spent the last three hours talking to you if I had slept in. I am glad I made the choice I did.” Jaime could tell Rose was serious, but he had trouble believing it.

 

Over the next few months, Jaime and Rose saw quite a lot of each other. Jaime had spent most of his life hiding from unknown situations. He preferred to bluff his way through, pretending he was in control. And he would explode when it met something that he did not expect or could not control. But Rose reacted differently. She never really exploded. When she ran into things beyond her understanding or control, she would get quiet and start looking for the lesson to be learned. At first, Jaime figured this was her unique superpower, but he soon discovered that even he could do it.

 

Honestly, Jaime felt like a failure until he met Rose. She helped him see that his “failures” were lessons in self-knowledge. As he got to know himself, he developed a genuine humility. She would help him see the life lessons that he had missed. Her growing love for him, putting his needs ahead of hers, helped him begin to love himself. The unknowns did not devastate him. He faced them with whatever tools he had at hand. And, because of Rose and her love for him, he knew he had many more life tools than he realized. The most valuable was to ask when he met a profound disappointment, “What have I learned?” instead of “What have I lost?”