Benny Learns Life

Benny was a very angry young man. He grew up in a fractured and violent family. He hated himself and everyone around him. Grief and resentment were his daily companions. Anger consumed his present. His future was empty and aimless. He had tried suicide more than once, and there was no doubt that he would succeed if he did not deal with his anger. Fortunately, he met Sue.

 

Sue was Benny’s counselor at the residential treatment center where Benny went after the Juvenile Court had given up on him (just like everyone else in his life.). Sue was different. She respected him by listening to his rage and refused to allow his anger to chase her away. She was the first person he had ever met that cared about him. And that made all the difference.

 

Over their time together at the center, Sue sat and listened. During one session, Benny threatened her with a broken broom. Instead of calling for more meds, she heard his anger and was able to help him see himself in her eyes and words. It took time, but eventually, Benny grew to respect Sue. And her respect for him made all the difference. He began to think he was worth something.  

 

Benny eventually found his way through this quagmire, even after Sue had moved on to other patients. His eternity, past-present-future, began to fill with promise as his capacity to accept and give love began to seep into his daily life. The grief and resentment were no longer as important as they had been. The anger did not appear as often. His future was no longer empty. It echoed the possibility of love.

 

Benny learned some valuable lessons. He had learned to accept the people in the past, present, and future.  Benny started respecting them for who they were, are, and will be. He was able to put their needs ahead of his own. And that is the very definition of love. Until we see our ancestors as real people, we will treat them as fools who should have known better. If we see others through our stereotypes and ignore their individuality, we will be unable to respect their individuality. Until we accept our future as grounded in our present choices, we will endure the tragic cycles of yesterday. It all depends on respect. 

 

Benny learned all of this because someone saw him rather than his anger. Sue paid him the respect he deserved as a human being. It was really that simple.  

 

Our eternity can offer us love or despair. It all depends on how much respect we have for our ourselves, our ancestors, our contemporaries, and our descendants.