Rocky's Story

Rocky always felt out of place. He was a sensitive soul I met at a diner down the street from my job. This spot was a retreat that we both discovered after a full day of office politics and "people games." We both had spent many years constantly trying to fit in by adapting ourselves to fit the "space available" in jobs, neighborhoods, or circles of acquaintances. Neither of us really had any current friends. We maintained complicated networks of co-workers, colleagues, and almost friends from wherever we had lived. But this is Rocky's story.

 

One day, Rocky was tired of trying to fit in all the time. He had "fit in" to too many different groups of people. He was "Rocky" here and "The Rock" there. It seemed that he became a different person with each new group and acquired a new name in the process. Rock, Rocky, The Rock, and George (his birth name) were littered throughout his personal story. He became increasingly fearful, tentative, and worried about the future recently. As hard as he tried, Rocky just did not fit in anywhere, even within himself. He was not sure who he was or what his name should be.

 

I was at the busy diner when I saw a stranger walk in. Rocky paused at the door and saw that the only place to sit was at the counter between two different sorts of guys. One had a beard and ponytail, and the other wore an expensive suit and tie. Hal, the ponytail, introduced himself first. Then Steve, the Suit, introduced himself. Something magical happened for the next 15 minutes while they drank their coffee and ate their pie. They enjoyed one another's company. Three complete strangers became something more than mere acquaintances.

 

We all showed up 2 – 3 times a week and moved from the counter to a table, our table, within a few days. We were so different. I am a free spirit. Steve was a focused executive. But Rocky had no script to follow. During our conversations, bits and pieces of him emerged and drifted away. Over the next few months, my "diner" companions became lunch buddies. We enjoyed sharing and listening to one another's stories. There was no judgment, only the discovery of people and their lives as they lived them. Mutuality and respect supported, surrounded, and filled our conversations.

 

In the process, Rocky began a journey into himself. He began to discover bits and pieces of himself lying around his story. He would flip from Rock, The Rock, Rocky, and George in the middle of a story, and we were not phased. We cared about him, not who he was or what he could do for us or anyone else. He was important to us. We enjoyed being with him, and, in the process, Rocky found a person within that he was comfortable with as well. There was no role-playing. There was no "fitting in." In truth, Rocky was fascinated by the person emerging from the underbrush of his old stories.

 

As Rocky began to appear, something even more strange began to happen. The woman at the check-out at the grocery store, the neighbor at his back fence, and a man in an elevator at the bank; all of them were comfortable with this new conglomeration of a person he now called "Rocky." As he grew in self-knowledge, he relaxed into his daily living. He discovered more people in his life who let him be who he was, not who he thought he was or who they thought he should be. Many of the old fears began to slip away. His anxiety began to drop. His overall outlook on life began to sprout the beginnings of hope.  

 

He left George, The Rock, and Rock behind (or rather, he took bits and pieces of each of them) and discovered the inner Rocky that had always been there.  

 

As Rocky's hope began to grow, Steve and I celebrated. The snarky, bitter, confused, and frightened man we met on that first encounter had changed. We had all changed. We found that the world was not as dark as it had been. We discovered that hope thrives when we relax into ourselves just as we are in a community that appreciates and celebrates this "you."   We dared to believe, even without evidence, that good will triumph in the end. Steve and I were constantly grateful for the Rocky that had become part of our lives.