Grandma and Grandpa's Squabbles

Nan was so excited. She was riding with Grandma and Grandpa to their cabin, where they would meet her other cousins for Cousin Camp. It was several hours, but Nan loved being with Grandpa and Grandma. Just in case, she also had her book and bag of snacks. All was well!

 

After an hour, Grandma said, "We need to stop at the next rest area." Grandpa sighed, "Already!" Grandma did not say anything with her lips. But her eyes said plenty. Grandpa immediately replied, "Yes, dear." Nan had never seen that look in her Grandma's eyes before. It made her feel a little strange.

 

After the pit stop, they were on their way. Grandpa spoke up, asking, "Did you pack my binoculars?" Grandma replied, "No, I packed everything else. Can't you take care of your stuff?"

 

Nan felt that strange feeling again.

 

Grandpa replied, "They were on the bed. Couldn't you have just slipped them in the suitcase?" Grandma said, "I didn't know where you wanted them." Grandpa was a little irked, "Why would I leave them on the bed if …." He never finished that sentence. He knew he had just stepped over an invisible line and offered a simple response, "Yes, dear!" He resumed driving.  

Nan could not believe her ears. She knew something had happened but was not sure what it was. Nan had never seen her grandparents’ squabble before. She tried to escape into her book, but there was no way to quiet the "qeasies." She sat the rest of the trip with that queasy, strange feeling on the inside.

 

Nan did not know that during their fifty years of marriage, Grandma and Grandpa had learned many valuable lessons. But there was none so useful as the lesson of being patient with themselves and each other, especially when life did not sort itself out to one or the other's liking. Sixty years ago, Nan would have understood when someone cried "uncle" in the middle of a disagreement. But 60 years later, Grandpa would yield the argument and say, "Yes, Dear." with just a tiny hint of sarcasm. Grandma's word was "Okay!" but a little louder and more intense than its more ordinary usage. This little bit of patience allowed them to say, "Our 50 years together are more important than this disagreement. Let's move on." But Nan did not understand all of this. All she knew was her stomach hurt.

 

Being patient with our companions in life allows love to coexist within disagreements. It sets the relationship above the emotions of battle. It says their companionship builds on something more profound than sharing a common perspective or passionately held beliefs. Being patient with others and patience with ourselves allows us to weather the occasional storms. Their kids, Nan's Mom, used to get disturbed by their disagreements.  

 

Nan sat down with her mom that night, and her mom explained it this way.  

 

"Nan, my Mom and Dad have been together a very long time. I used to get upset when they would fight. But after a few years, I learned they always find a way to sort things out. They have gotten a lot better in the last few years. They used to let it ruin our day. But now, the hard feelings usually slip by in a few minutes. I have seen their squabbles for what they are, a Summer Storm that blows over quickly. They love each other too much to let anything mess things up for long."

 

Nan thought for a minute and then said. "So, it's okay that they get upset because they know it's not forever, right!!"

 

Mom replied, "Yep, just smile and nod. You know the secret. Be patient with them because love will always win out for those two."