Jerry Learns Love the Hard Way

Jerry and JoAnn had been married for 5 years. It was a second marriage for both, and they had not hit a serious pothole until this week. 

But Jerry felt like the wheels were about to come off his marriage and life.

 

The problem grew out of a promise Jerry made while they were dating. JoAnn loved her hometown. She had grown up there, and almost all her friends still lived there. She was deeply rooted in those people and places. 

Jerry married her, knowing that they would spend the rest of their lives right where they were. It was all part of the deal, and he loved her beyond measure. 

This made the conversation he had this morning with his Boss even more painful.

 

The Boss began with, "Jerry, thanks for stopping by. I have a great opportunity for you!" Jerry knew his Boss well enough to know that this was more than an opportunity. 

 

"Jerry, you have become an important part of the company. You have made a big difference here, and it has not gone unnoticed upstairs." 

Jerry's suspicions began to bubble when the Boss started the next bit of his "opportunity."  "As valuable as you are, they know that you would be perfect for a new position in Cincinnati."

 

Jerry felt the floor ripple as the soul quake began to rumble.

 

The Boss continued, "They need your skills to get that office moving forward, just like you did with our shipping crew. It will mean a big raise, and they will cover all your moving costs. Boy, I wish they had done that for me when I came here. I hate to lose you, but they are firm on this. 

They need you to start there next month!"

 

The floor broke wide open, and he felt himself falling into the abyss. He could see JoAnn's face as he told her they were moving, or he was unemployed.  

 

Jerry asked, "Is this an opportunity or an expectation?" The Boss looked at Jerry with the pained look of someone who had to speak a painful truth. "It is not really a choice! They want you in Cincinnati. Period!"

 

Jerry went into an emotional free fall. Too many feelings burst through, and he was overwhelmed.

 

The Boss, seeing the vacant cast in Jerry's eyes, said, "Jerry, I know you need to talk to JoAnn and tell her the good news. Why don't you take the day off so you can break it to her?" That was the last thing he wanted to "break" to her. He did not believe that she would ever leave this place, and he would not leave her behind. For once, Jerry wished that this small town had traffic jams. He was not in any hurry to get home, but it was smooth driving all the way.

 

After pulling into the driveway, he noticed that JoAnn's car was gone. She must be out running errands. Fate had given him a brief reprieve. He sat down in his easy chair while rehearsing his lines for her.

 

He heard her car pull into the driveway, and the floor started to ripple again. When she walked in the door, she said, "Jerry, this is a surprise! 

You're early! What's up?" Jerry mumbled something incoherent. She replied, "I must be losing my hearing. What did you say?" Jerry knew it was time to talk.

 

Jerry said, "We need to talk. The Boss called me in today, and I have some news."  

 

JoAnn also felt a gentle ripple to the floor and asked, "He didn't let you go, did he?"

 

Jerry replied, "No. In fact, he wants to give me a promotion and a raise." Jerry saw JoAnn's face begin to move from worry to joy. Jerry knew he needed to speak quickly. "Unfortunately, the promotion and raise are in Cincinnati."

 

JoAnn's joy collapsed as she felt the floor open. "Cincinnati? Cincinnati? CINCINNATI!!!" And then, as her brain began to process all this, she spoke a terrible truth. "But we would have to move."

 

Her world was falling into that chasm, and Jerry was falling in with her. He could not disappoint her. Despite his promise, it was not really a choice. It was either Cincinnati or no job.

 

JoAnn did her best to listen, but all she could think of was all that she would leave behind.  

 

Jerry imagined the next words out of her mouth, "Well, I guess it is unemployment, then!" He could not have imagined what happened next.

 

JoAnn looked at Jerry and saw his pain. She understood that Jerry did not want to break his promise to her, but she did not want him to give up all he had worked for in the company. She did not want to leave the only place she had ever known, but she could not let go of her husband. She was torn between her wants, just like Jerry!

 

"Jerry, you must feel terrible. But this is not a "no-win" situation. I love you!!! That is the most important thing for me. If I must choose between you and this town, no discussion is needed. I chose you five years ago, and I will keep doing so every day. I love YOU!"

 

Jerry was speechless. It never occurred to him that he was more important to her than her hometown. Jerry spent so much time thinking about his promise he never stepped back and thought about how JoAnn might have changed in the last 5 years. He looked into JoAnn's tear-filled eyes through his own tears and said absolutely nothing. Words were totally unnecessary as they reached out and held on to each other for an eternity.

 

They were still holding on to one another six months later, in Cincinnati! Jerry had learned that the hard choice had not opened a deep chasm. It was only a pothole! There were a few bumps along the way as Jerry grieved the loss of friends and JoAnn grieved the loss of her hometown. But they both began to adjust to their new normal and had found new lives for themselves.

 

Jerry had to learn about real love the hard way, from JoAnn's very real love for him. They discovered that love lives in the mystery of the unknown. It is like walking across a black trampoline in the dark. We are all gonna stumble, so we gotta learn to bounce. It turned out that JoAnn knew how to bounce and had taught Jerry a few of her tricks. Jerry learned that a lasting love fears neither the mystery nor the occasional stumble in the darkness. If we can learn to bounce, love has a light of its own that helps us through that darkness. He learned that together they could bounce through the potholes.